The alerts during the film
Brand-owned educational article · Original examples
Phones down may not solve the moment
Notice the interruption rather than collecting the devices
Jules and Tori agree to watch a film. Both phones are on the side table, but Jules’s watch lights up repeatedly and a tablet starts another clip nearby. They have followed the phone rule without deciding what kind of time they wanted. The interruption moved instead of disappearing.
“I keep losing the thread when everything lights up,” Tori says. Jules can check what is optional on their own watch. Tori can stop autoplay on the tablet they are using. Neither needs to hand over a device, prove a screen-time total or agree that technology is generally bad. They are talking about this film and the next manageable stretch of time.
Leave the essential route open
Jules is waiting for a sibling’s care update. That contact stays available. If the message arrives, the film can pause, or Tori can decide to do something else. An agreed experiment should be flexible enough for real life. If alerts are needed for health or accessibility, work around those needs rather than treating them as a failure of commitment.
One Attention Experiment asks what each person is willing to change. They could try one part of the film with fewer optional interruptions, then ask whether it felt better or simply more controlled. The answer may be that watching separately suits them tonight. A successful page is not one that produces the longest device-free period; it helps them make an honest choice. It cannot guarantee closeness, restore trust by itself or justify inspecting a partner’s private messages.
The physical On Your Side Again book has Chapter 16 and a companion page. Printable A4 PDFs come only with purchases of two or more books. See book and offer.
The example above is original, not a quotation from the book or a customer result. Use what fits your circumstances and leave what does not. A partner may choose not to participate; the reader can reflect on their own preferences without treating the page as a way to control that choice.
Choose a review time that both people can realistically make.
A place to work through the next step
On Your Side Again is a physical book with companion worksheet pages. Purchases of two or more books include printable A4 companion worksheet PDFs.
See the book and current options →Not ready to choose a book?
Try the small step in this article first. You can return when you want a structured place to reflect. Participation is voluntary; a book cannot make another person engage or change.
Book reference: Chapter 16, printed 147–154 / PDF 148–155; Reusable 16, printed 255–256 / PDF 256–257